Thursday, June 30, 2005
i am fine.. i am fine i am fine.. i keep trying to make myself feel that way.... it really kinda sad la... been crying alot dis few days... its twice in a week... i really now find it a joy to go to sch... sumhow being closer with yun wendy jess quant and kiku makes me feel real gd... we luff and joke in between lunch break and lectures... i really am happy to be with them.... its so much better den being at hm... the hse has this super tense atmosphere where juz stepping inside makes me feel like crying... this overwhelming emotion can kill.. everyone asking me to take care and be strong.. i noe i am real fortunate to have pple around trying to hold me when i am feeling weak and stuff.. really am so touched... i feel so lucky to come home juz 10 min later... if did not wait for jess bf and also nv go hang ten.. i tink i will witness my parents quarreling.....
So what if i am living in such a big hse that everyone goes wow over? have a dad that drive a 7 series BMW? Just have to reach out my hand to get all the money i want.... Get to go overseas every year? so what? i rather juz be like huiyun's family... SO close with her sister and stuff.. i dun wan wealth i juz wan my family to be happy... i wn myself to be happy.. i dun mind being tired and go to work everyday.. i juz wan to be able to return to a heartwarming home that appreciates me for who i am..
Next week is the test week le.... gotta pia hard for my fma.. i seriously am NOT catching up.. struggling to stay at the surface and half way sinking.... Now i feel that i cannot care about what others think le.. i juz keep doing what i am suppose to do...
Dunno whether to go sentosa on saturday for class outing.. maybe it will be a good chance for me to go out and take a break from all these stress i have been getting... its one problem after another.. when can i get to be stressfree?
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feel the magical essence...# ;
