Sunday, July 17, 2005
uh yea.. been thinking quite abit... after reading jackie's blog.. it kind of tug me in the heart.. Because i fele taht when it comes to club, my situation is probably not as bad as his.. I think it because i stop cadc-ing after the whole camp come to an end.. There were wonderful memories i had there but there are more disappointing ones. The seniors once said, if you really put in effort for the camp, you could cry during the campfire when you thank the campers. When it came to that time, somehow i tried crying, no tears came out. Not touched and grateful feeling. No heartwarming feeling in me.. I felt cold.. Very cold.. I believe i put in more effort then some of the others... I went early and left late.. I was always punctual. Even when i was running a fever i went as usual yet keeping quite about the fever. No care no concern unlike some more big shot people. I wonder what i did wrong. What i did to deserve this? Was it really like what yuanda and the other seniors said? I did not do anything? Seriously from the bottom of my heart, i feel that i wanted to badly to help out. To feel as tired as everyone.. and during my sick moments someone to care for me. I do not need people to shower over me.. but show a bit of care.. You all might feel that i am exaggerating, but i really still the impact of the debrief... You all might feel that its nothing.. but it really hit me real bad.. Sometimes i will still dream about camp and stuff in the night.. and when i do remeber int he morning, it will disturb me and make me feel real upset the whole day... How many people really do understands? now i am in no need for cca point.. i have the reality challenge which cca point will be given to me.. i am in no need for cca pts anymore... bu ti would just like to say to people in club... please treat the juniors better... do not leave them out... because i know some of them are real soft spoken... make them feel part of this big family.. don't make the same mistakes again... thast the reasn why club always loses so many club members... this is speaking from true feeling of some of the members.. you all are just nto aware of what is happening...
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feel the magical essence...# ;
